Poem: Trying

There’s a basement in SoHo
Where she dances alone
Twirling and strung out
In front of a mirror made of stone
Watching the girl there spin
As she spins wondering to herself
Where’s that little girl been
All this time spent alone
With friends who won’t pick up
Their phones when she calls
She’s afraid to hear their laughter
When she falls to the ground
Face down on cold concrete 

Looking around for lost pills
Thinking maybe she’ll take them
This time maybe they will work
To quiet all those voices
Living for free in her head

Mother is there telling her
She won’t amount to much at all
Daddy’s voice calling her names
There’s a little voice there
Telling her wonderful things
That she can’t hear over the rest

Swallowing a handful of pills
All of the colors of the rainbow
Chasing them with vodka she thinks
That she needs a rest from the world
As the curtains are closing in
So she can go backstage to see
All the actors with their masks off
Plain as can be and scarier still

Swimming memories she tries 
To hold deep under and drown
To float on their destruction
As she floats out to sea
Wondering if she will touch 
Solid ground ever again
As the cool of the concrete
Stirs her awake in the darkness
Of another sunset on day
Just floating away

Advertisement