oh to be a shooting star in her sky streaking across the dark tapestry illuminating the heavens even as I am falling burning with a brightness i hope she might see and make a wish on my heart as I go
Taking inspiration from Grace’s post over at dVerse, I’ve opted to do a soliloquy in the form of a reverse etheree (10 syllables, descending to 1 in the final line).
Copyright © 2021 TJS Sherman All rights reserved.
Love it… the form, and the simple wish. I hope she has a way to catch you when you fall.
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Well if we’re going to burn out might as well burn bright.
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Interesting form, and well written!
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Thank you!
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“burning with a brightness
i hope she might see
and make a wish”
How gorgeous is that?! Swoon. ❤
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Hopefully you didn’t fall yourself in your swoon 😉
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You chose one of my favorite forms to play with with such a pleasing result. Thank you.
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I can’t do meter, so my default is syllabic poetry. Thank you!
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Seems vulnerable, I like vulnerable expressions
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Few things are more vulnerable than someone falling.
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Lovely–the idea to be that star!
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If only to be seen 😊
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Indeed. 😀
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T.J.S.,
“Make a wish/on my heart” — so wonderfully, delicately put!
pax,
dora
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Thank you!
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Nice one!!!!!
Good Thursday
Much❤love
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Appreciate it, thanks!
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Oh! I too have spent myself in such wise, to little success. The form fits your sentiment so well
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My goal is that the sentiment connects to others, so I’m glad to hear that it connected for you
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Oh wow! I love this and the form too.
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Thank you Lucy!
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I adore a descending poem, and I loved the emotional charge to this piece in particular. Truly you’ve done in ten lines what I wish I could capture in my endless eclectic mutterings. Delightful, delightful, delightful.
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I find constrained forms make me push myself more than my typical free verse, glad it worked.
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Beautiful work, TJ. 🌠
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Fine choice of form for this particular content. Salute!
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Really beautiful work with both the form and the prompt – I felt like I was chasing a shooting star across the sky as I read!
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What a fun idea – a star making a wish on you!
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The fragile, tender wish is very touching.
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Your soliloquy and the most unique of forms … a stunning combo! I thoroughly enjoyed.
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So beautiful…love waiting to happen
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