The seven seas had never seen such a terror As blond beard the first pirate of Nebraska He had applied his pirating skills Selling his yard sale finds on eBay To fund his pirate ship the Emma Lee A beauty of steel of polymer With patches of bright white Seats for two and off board motor That once ran and would run again Once he got permission from the missus Standing on the seaboard prow Swigging his cheap run and peering Through his spyglass across the sea Of his green yard at his neighbor Bob Watching on with envy Blond Beard could hear their jeers Their doubts about the terror he would be So he finally made up his mind Hitching up the Emma Lee to his SUV Children lined the neighborhood roads Watching as she sailed by in awe He was careful over speed bumps To not lose her on the asphalt sea Backing into the green algae covered waters Of the humid local pond He cut the Emma Lee lose Watching her float and bob Six pack and tackle in hand he took a might leap Landing on her deck firmly with both feet He took a swing of beer and looked to the East Preparing to become the terror He always promised he would be Until he felt his sneakers getting wet As Emma Lee was letting in the sea Being a good captain he went down the the ship Until his was knee high in water Then wading back to land With a rope and a tug He brought her back to shore Swearing to fix the patches and return once more The adventures of the dread Blond Beard We’re not thwarted only just delayed Until he could get some more money And await another nice day
This is a poem in mock epic style, telling the exaggerated adventures of an urbanite husband.
To read more about this style, click here.
Copyright © 2021 TJS Sherman All rights reserved.
One thought on “Poem: The Mock Epic of Blond Beard”